I had the pleasure of meeting TRex the 80-foot therapod at YearlyKos and once again today he touches on something no one else can so brilliantly describe - the amazingly awful voices of the Busheviks.

I think the thing that made me most want to throttle the little pock-marked pissant was his Spongebob on Helium voice. Oh, my sweet, gentle Jesus, could any male person over the age of eight sound less authoritative? All it took was even the briefest sound byte of his whiny, paper-thin, less-than-dulcet tones, “Ah don’t recawll that, Cawngressman” and I’d be seized with the sudden urge to club a baby seal to death.

Of course, the bad news is that they seem to be considering the only man in America with an even more annoying voice to take his place, Michael “Squeaky” Chertoff. I have to ask, what the hell is it with Bush appointees and their obnoxiously high-pitched voices? Every time Monica Goodling opens her mouth, dogs for miles begin to whimper and bleed from the ears. And don’t even get me started on Bradley Schlozman. Dolphins can’t even hear that guy.

Granted, Alberto Gonzales’s crimes against my eardrums pale next to his crimes against the American people, the US Constitution, and anyone unfortunate enough to be detained by US forces at Guantanamo or in any of the “black sites” operated under the Bush Administration’s perverse concept of “justice”. Still, though, I can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief that the little turd is retiring from public life. If we could just persuade him to take a permanent vow of silence, my happiness would be complete.

Unless, of course, he wants to speak under oath. That, and only that, is the one thing I believe we could make an exception for.

You go, TRex!