Well, it's Friday, which means it's time to look in the old Democrats.com mailbag and see what conservative Nobel Laureate tries to give me my comeuppance this week. And it's been a tough week to choose -- so much hate and ignorance flowing in and so few column inches to use for responses. But here we go:

In a long and simply bizarre e-mail, a woman from Tyler, Texas writes…

Hello,

My name is [name deleted just in case she really is being persecuted in her town -- read on] and I was born and have lived all of my life in Tyler, Texas. I have never been in any kind of trouble and I have perfect credit and my husband does too, but our credit has been destroyed. I just read your article about Opus Dei. I am scared of those people.

I am a Democrat who lives in a republican stronghold.

OK, so far, so good. Read my piece on Brownback and Opus Dei and liked it… Democrat in a Red State -- though I'm not sure what her credit has to do with anything.

I have uncovered horrible corruption in Tyler, Texas in regards to the Property Taxes and I cannot get anyone to help me expose it. I have been the victim of horrible harassment for a real long time (since the 1970s) and in recent years I have discovered a lot of the people who have been viciously harassing me are Catholics.

And here's where it starts going south and making me say "huh?"

I am also being harassed by lots of Mexicans (lots of phone calls---- some in early AM hours) who are probably all Catholics and I have never had anything to do with illegal aliens, but the Catholic Church helps them because I have read the Catholic Church gets thousands of dollars out of them by asking them to put their money into what is called "poor Boxes."

My home town is being overrun by illegal Mexicans and other Central & South Americans-------- as is our whole country. I read an article recently saying that this is the biggest MASS invasion of any country in the history of the world so far, and they are destroying our country while no one does anything about it.

Babe, you had me at "I just read your article." And then you go and blow it by starting in with the racist rhetoric. What are you going to say to me in your next e-mail? That the New York Jews run all the banks and television networks? That black people are destroying our inner cities? I had such high hopes for our relationship and then you ruin it all by sounding like a bigot from Tyler, Texas.

Damn you, for dashing the dream that we could have had something together.

Next up we have Mr. Fred Fitten who musters up every bit of writing ability enabled by his limited vocabulary and writes (in its entirety):

You are a bigger idiot than Reid.....Both you and he are typical left-wing morons...

To which I respond:

Dear Fred,

Your e-mail concerns me greatly and I am waiting for a response from Senator Reid before I write back to you. I was fortunate enough to meet Mr. Reid while at the YearlyKos conference in Las Vegas, mentioned your e-mail and, understandably, he was quite upset

"Fred Fitten said that? The Fred Fitten?" said Senator Reid, trembling with emotion.

"Yes, Senator, I'm afraid so," I responded, trying to cushion the blow with a hug.

"Well, I'm tempted to resign from the Senate if Fred Fitten thinks I'm a moron, but I'm going to hang in there," said Reid. "I mean, no offense, Bob. I'm sure Fred calls you a moron all the time. But this comes as quite a shock to me."

So I hope you're happy, Fred. The Senate Minority Leader thinking of stepping down and me giving serious thought to retiring from blogging -- all because of your harsh rebuke.

You and that woman from Tyler, Texas are like a one-two punch to the emotional gut.

Let's hear from Mr. "clydedes" -- why do so few of these right-wingers have the courage to use their real names? - who writes:

Mr. Geiger,

You insult the intelligence of your readers with your biased comments about Senator Frist. He knew long before he announced the scheduled votes that he would not win on the gay marriage vote and that the estate tax repeal was questionable. He shows so much more courage than the Democrats (which I have been all of my adult life), because he is willing to bring things to the floor that he knows he will not win. All Harry Reid does is filibuster. I do not think the Democratic party will accomplish anything with Reid, Dean, Byrd, Kennedy, Pelosi and Murtha in leadership positions. I hope somebody gives us back our party.

Dear Mr. Clydedes,

I believe you and I are both members of the Democratic party as much as I believe that Pat Robertson sings with the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus.

Love,

Bob

Finally, we have something short and sweet, that was the kind of heart-warming e-mail that makes me understand why I write and reinforces that I really can change some peoples' opinions.

Mr. "X-mann" writes…

Dear asshole,

I'm so sorry that liberal scum like you even exists. Why didn’t your mother abort you when she had the chance?

To which I say:

Dear Mr. X;

While I take strong exception to being called "liberal scum" -- I prefer the word "progressive" -- I cannot tell you how moving it is to me that someone who is obviously so conservative has chosen to adopt a pro-choice, abortion-rights stance.

Thank you so much for being willing to examine yourself -- and change.

Tune in next time for another edition of the Friday Fruitcakes. And, for you hateful, self-loathing Republicans – keep those cards, letter and e-mails coming.

You can reach Bob Geiger at geiger.bob@gmail.com